A Perfect Schedule

A fellow mommy shared her morning schedule with me as inspiration to keep my New Year resolutions going. Apparently you can only get things done with a tightly regimented, minute-by-minute agenda.

MY MORNING ITINERARY (SUNRISE TO MID-MORNING)

5:10 a.m. Wake up immediately using my 3lb shape-up alarm clock weight. (There’s no snooze button, and you have to do 30 bicep curls for the alarm to stop, how cool is that)?! Leap out of bed into standing position before body has a chance to adjust to gravity. Shake it off if I collapse
5:12 a.m. Boil morning detox (water, ginger, sugar-free candy)
5:21 a.m. Preheat shower
5:22 a.m. Wash hair with homemade tonic (organic castile soap and tree sap from my sycamore)
5:23 a.m. Condition hair with apple cider vinegar. (Possible olive oil or WD40 to remove tree sap)
5:24 a.m. Pre-wash face with steamy towel soaked in chile oil. Opens pores beautifully. Scrub with milk immediately after to stop burning
5:32 a.m. Repeat with body. (Extra time scheduled on Tuesdays and Thursdays for cellulite removal/thigh resurfacing)
5:35 a.m. Dry off. Moisturize with lard or shortening
5:38 a.m. Brush and floss
5:44 a.m. Prepare  breakfast and lunch for kids. (Organic. Plenty of fiber, greens, and plant-based protein) Smaller portions. It’s good for them to feel a bit hungry.
6:00 a.m. Me time! Read from two books – one classic fiction and one contemporary non-fiction, 19.5 min apiece (although admittedly, I do have the occasional guilty pleasure of researching receipt organization methods
6:40 a.m. Turn on NPR for the kids so they get some news in before they wake up. Lay out two outfit choices for each of them.
6:45 a.m. Switch from NPR to non-threatening rain sounds or white noise to ease kids awake.
6:49 a.m. Stand nearby and be available to help with getting dressed but not intrude so much so that they’re not learning self-sufficiency
7:10 a.m. Walk kids out to bus. While waiting, get their brains going with logic puzzles and passages from the classics (Grendel for the first grader, A Clockwork Orange for the third grader)
7:15 a.m. Breathe a bit! Pin and plan after-school cultural and art activities
7:30 a.m. Ingest breakfast. Usually a spoonful of dry chia or fresh-pressed bark juice from the sycamore
7:35 a.m. Writing time! I like to use inspirational quotes to prompt me. My go-to is Atlas Shrugged
8:40 a.m. Make a to-do list and schedule for the day